


Trainery Vriska

by Snarp



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, Gen, One Hundred Percent Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3840397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarp/pseuds/Snarp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"vRISKA, wAS IT? lET ME HEAR MORE, oF YOUR POKEMON'S, vOICES!"</p><p>trainery vriska understood without any problem atall that this menat he wanted to fight. "Okay!!!!!!!!" she said and she got out her pokemon and totally beat tavros (n? tavros.) up because she is the 8est!!!!!!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trainery Vriska

> "tHAT WOULD REQUIRE, a GREAT MANY POKEMON TO BE IMPRISONED IN POKE BALLS..." said some comlete loser stattign the obvious real hard. "i, tOO, aM A TRAINER, bUT I AM ALWAYS DOUBTING. aM I MAKING MY POKEMON HAPPY, i ASK...? vRISKA, wAS IT? lET ME HEAR MORE, oF YOUR POKEMON'S, vOICES!"
> 
> trainery vriska understood without any problem atall that this menat he wanted to fight. "Okay!!!!!!!!" she said and she got out her pokemon and totally beat tavros (n? tavros.) up because she is the 8est!!!!!!!!
> 
> n said in a pathetic and bad way, "rESTRAINED TO, iMPRISONMENT IN POKE BALLS... pOKEMON CANNOT BE, pERFECT CREATURES. fOR THE SAKE OF MY FRIENDS, tHE POKEMON, tHE WORLD MUST BE CHANGED." and then he just kind of walked off.

and then he just kind of... walks off? and i'm not supposed to try to stop him or anything????????

nope! this was a rival battle, so he just walks off and that's that! wow, the game didn't change the way he talks much.

haha, nope!!!!!!!!

> "i SHALL SURPASS, tHE CHAMPION. i WILL STAND AS AN UNDEFEATABLE OPPONENT... aND I SHALL LIBERATE POKEMON FROM, aLL TRAINERS!" said n (tavros) with a whole lot of pauses and once he nearly fell down. "bUT YOU... yOU WISH TO BE TOGETHER WITH POKEMON! iF THAT IS YOUR DESIRE, tHEN COLLECT ALL THE GYM BADGES, aND COME TO THE POKEMON LEAGUE! oNCE THERE, tRY TO STOP ME! iF YOU DO NOT FEEL AS STRONGLY... yOU SHALL NOT STOP ME."
> 
> and then he just kind of walked off again and vriska didn't try to stop him her anything per game rules, but she did yell some stuff: "tavros, you could have conveyed all that in like six words! "vRISKA. pOKEMON LEAGUE. nOW. bRING SELF-ESTEEMS." i would have understood that fine!!!!!!!!"

"so what tavros is saying is basically that it's slavery to keep the pokemon and make them fight and stuff?"

"yeah, that's the whole plot of the game, vriska! that has been the plot of the game since before we got the first badge, sheesh. n - that's the character tavros is playing btw - n feels that way, and you're doing this whole quest to change his mind."

"laaaaaaaame. why would he even think that, anyway, they're totally having fun! look how happy my little fire pig thing is."

"yeah, well, but the pokemon only really look happy at game events where it's important they're supposed to! like, just when you're talking to n, or an npc who gives you an item if your pokemon looks happy."

"oh, come on, they ALWAYS look happy, except the ones that always look sad or angry, i guess. - oh, hey, john, i just realized! swadloon looks EXACTLY like karkat!!!!!!!! ::::D"

"haha, yeah, it totally does! it's so grumpy! - but no, i mean they're just kind of like... zombies, i mean like the happy-face is stuck, and so's swadloon's karkat-face. and they just do what we tell them, too."

"john! are you sympathizing with the aims of our enemies on team charge????????"

"well, yeah! i mean, he's basically right, like all the arguments on your side are really kind of specious and like, denial of free will stuff? the gym leaders are all like "but we're nice to our pokemon so it's okay," but obviously some people aren't! there's no, like, incentive -"

"john, i am hearing enemy-sympathizing, and as the hero, i cannot say that i like it! especially because it sounds like the crappier vantas taught you those words."

"i can know three-syllable words on my own, thanks! - but the pokemon don't actually get to say what they think about it, right? just the trainers. and then tavros's programmed to take a fall for you so you can be the hero. this game's fucked up!"

"well, that's why i have to win it! then the game will be over and we can all go back to our right timelines and everything'll be fine!"

"geez, vriska, but you're just kind of like engaging with it on its own terms! and audre lorde said specifically that you cannot escape the pokemon game by playing the pokemon game."

"who's that?"

"i don't know? rose told me that. i guess maybe she's an npc from squiddles: the dark descent."

"well, she sounds lame, and i'm going to beat the game and mind-control tavros MYSELF so he's not stupid anymore, and then the credits'll roll and we'll all go someplace better."

"dude, pokemon games don't end after the credits."

"well, then we find the end condition! god, john, don't be so contrary."

"well, geez, you better enjoy it while you can! because i'm just playing the role of the devil's-advocate glasses-wearing secondary rival here, and it's a pokemon thing that you've eventually got to kind of ideologically subdue me. all the other good guys have to fall in line behind the hero."

"what do you mean? you're already falling in line behind me, sheesh. you never do anything but follow me around!"

"no, i mean, when we get to the end i might just start saying stupid crap about how great you are and nothing else, too. i might not be able to talk to you like this anymore!"

"is that what you're worried about???????? geez, john, you know i'll just mind-control you so you stop! don't be a scaredy meowbeast!"

"vriska, god. i wish rose was here, she could explain it better! it's just. you won't turn tavros back into tavros by ordering him to be like how you think tavros ought to be. that's not how it works."

"i don't know why you're making this so complicated! if i win the game, i'm stronger than the game! i can fix him then!"

"no! if you win the game, it means you were playing the game all along. and maybe that's not what you should've been doing. you can't give us our volition back by mind-controlling us even more on top of the other mind-control."

"you keep saying it like i'm the only one playing! and what do you even mean, "our volition"? we're fine! i'm fine and so are you!!!!!!!!"

"pokemon's a single-player game, vriska."

"pokemon's always been a single-player game."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted as chapter 7 of [Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle](http://archiveofourown.org/works/690724/chapters/1269079) on April 1st, 2013.


End file.
